Clark, NJ...fabulous place to live...well, according to Bloomberg...

The eternal question for those of us who are tied to NYC through jobs and general culture is: where do I go if I choose to leave the city?  How do I maintain a short commute to NYC, not only for may daily commute for work, but also to see shows, have dinner and enjoy urban life and all the enriching culture that comes with it still?  We want the best of both worlds - good schools, affordable housing, space to grow our families or to retire in peace...all within a 30 minute drive to the most exciting city in the world (okay, rush hour traffic aside...). 

For those of you looking to make the move, Bloomberg BusinessWeek published a recent article highlighting an often over-looked community, Clark, NJ.  With a population under 14,000 and a median family income just under $100k/year, this is a town that has managed to maintain lower taxes (5k-9k/year), while still having excellent schools, relatively low crime and pollution, lots of green space in relationship to developed space as well as have a fair commute to NYC if you need it.  It doesn't have its own station, but nearby stations do provide train access.  There is a handful of newer construction homes that top almost $1M in home price, but there are also a large number of reasonable starter homes that range between 300k-550k.  These prices, coupled with a lower tax rate, often make for more affordable living, as well as a nice community vibe (town pool, small schools, golf & tennis, parks, etc.).

Check out the article for more information:  http://realestate.yahoo.com/promo/best-affordable-suburbs-in-america-2010 

My Holiday Events List with Kids

So, every year when the holidays roll around, I get this panicked feeling - school lets out, and I have a crazed, house-bound toddler who rips apart my entire house because he can't wait for Christmas.  So to kill two birds with one stone, I plan a series of local (and not so local) holiday events that I can slowly dole out to him starting the first weekend of December and going thru the new year.  Here is a cross sample of the events, in case you need some ideas of what to do with your kids before they go stir crazy (by the way, I have included events in nearby by NYC and PA - things that a 2-5 year old can withstand, so no stage shows or anything):

DICKENS VILLAGE - Maplewood village center - Dec. 12^th & 19th - 1-4pm - wagon ride, book readings, reindeer, petting zoo & holiday songs (my kid loves the tiny houses)

DYKER Lights in Brooklyn - best Mid-Dec. to New Years, 7-9pm (weekends best viewing) - located 11^th-13^th Ave to 83^rd-86^th St - some of the best (gaudiest) light displays  - these folks hire designers, seriously!

NYC HOLIDAY WINDOW/LIGHT/TREE TOUR - Dec. thru New Years - Macy's, Lord & Taylor, Rockerfeller Center, Saks, Bergdorf, Barney's Bloomies, Lincoln Center Tree & Park Avenue (bewteen 48^th-97^th Streets)

TURTLEBACK ZOO Holiday Festival of Lights in West Orange - Dec. 5^th thru Jan. 2^nd - 5-9pm - w/ train & carousel - Adults: $7/Children: $3 - 973-731-5800

HOLIDAY LIGHT SHOW - Schaefer Farms - 1051 Route 523, Flemington, NJ - 908-782-2705 - Thanksgiving to New Years (Mon-Fri 5:30-9pm / Sat-Sun 5:30-10pm) - $12/car (Santa visits 6-8pm on 12/11, 12/12, 12/18, 12/19)

GINGERBREAD CONTEST - Essex County Enviromental Center - 621B Eagle Rock Avenue, Roseland - 973-228-8776 - Dec. 1^st-18^th  (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm / Sat 10am-2pm) - Awards Sat. Dec. 19^th at 9:30am

GINGERBREAD WONDERLAND at FRELINGHUYSEN ARBORETUM - 53 East Hanover Avenue, Morristown/Whippany - 973-326-7601 -  Dec 5^th- 13^th    (10:00a-5:00p daily, Friday until 8:00p) - Arboretum & Haggerty Education Center open 9am-dusk

AMERICA ON WHEELS - 5 North Front Street, Allentown, PA - 610-432-4200 (closed select holidays) - Tue-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12-5pm - Adults $7, under 5 free (tix by 4pm) - OKAY, SO THIS ISN'T REALLY A HOLIDAY EVENT, BUT MY SON IS OBSSESSED WITH CARS!  ISN'T YOURS?

KOZIER CHRISTMAS VILLAGE - 782 Christmas Village Road, Bernville, PA - 610-488-1110 - Dec. 1st-Jan. 3^rd - Mon-Fri 6-9pm, Sat-Sun 5-9:30pm - Adults $8, under 5 free (6-9 on holiday & eves)

CAMDEN AQUARIUM FISHMAS - 1 Riverside Dr., Camden - 856-365-3300 - Nov. 27^th-Jan. 3^rd - 9:30am-5pm, Adults $19.95, Children (2-12) $15.95 - Santa scuba dives, mascot dance party, Polar Express 4D ride, Rudolph

GRAND CENTRAL TERMINAL in NYC - 42^nd bet. Vanderbilt & Lexington - Light show - 11/30 - 1/11 - Main Terminal - 11am-9pm, every half hour on the half hour & Holiday Train Show- 11/25-1/16 - shuttle passage next to station manager's office, Mon-Fri 8am-8pm; Sat-Sun 10am-6pm - 718-694-1600

CAMDEN CHILDRENS GARDEN Holiday Festival of Lights - 3 Riverside Drive, Camden - 856-365-8733 - Fri. & Sat. 12/11, 12/12, 12/18, 12/19, 12/26, 1/2 - 5:30pm-8pm all Dec. - $6 Adults, $5 ($4 extra for festival of lights) - 4.5 acres along waterfront, 100K lights, Santa, 3Kings, Day, butterfly house, rides, Santa

MONMOUTH MUSEUM @ Brookdale Community College - 765 Newman Springs Road, Lincroft, NJ 07738 - 732-747-2266, $7/person or $8 (includes planetarium show) - Tues-Sat. 10am-4:30pm, Sun. 1-5pm (Planetarium Tues-Fri @ 4pm, Sat/Sun @ 1:30pm & 3pm (always call for availability of Wonder Wing & Becker Gallery), model railroad & tree display, Sundays best.

And of course, evey town pretty much has its own First Night Celebration for New Years - check your local town website for details - how much, when and where....

Please note that these were times and prices for 2009 (haven't seen anyone publish their 2010 schedules yet, so please check for new schedules and details before you head out.  Enjoy the holidays in 2010!

How Do You Get the Most Out of Your School Tours?

SO...I recently had the pleasure (or pain - depends on your POV) of attending school tours for elementary schools in both Maplewood/South Orange and Glen Ridge, NJ - both great towns with great schools, but also very different.  At my first tour, I found the experience to be chaotic and uninformative - which turned me off to the school immediately.  Oh, what was a mom to do?????

Upon further reflection, I realized that I was a poor advocate for myself - I chose a difficult time of day and an inappropriate tour guide and asked very few useful questions!  So, of course I walked away scratching my head!  So I have a few notes here that I want to share with you regarding school tours - just a few thoughts so that you won't have the same experience.

First, choose your time of day carefully - if you want to see chaos, go at lunchtime - this way you can see how they manage their traffic flow, recess class mixing and how the kids mingle during their downtime.  I was also pleased to see that at some schools, the children were in charge of various lunchtime duties for their class, which was nice.  If you want to see kids in classrooms, then avoid lunch at all costs - this way, you can see more class room dynamic.  In the morning, the kids seemed energetic, but I noted that in all the schools, by 2pm, they were walking zombies - don't let the post lunch energy dump be confused with a lackluster environment - it's probably just end of day.

Next, make sure you get a good tour guide - I got the chance to tour with principals, vice principals, administrators, as well as teachers.  I tended to get the best, most honest feeling answers from the teachers - they ARE the ones down in the trenches.  They had informative things to say about class size, inclusive classrooms, the struggle between teaching kids to learn vs. teaching towards the standardized testing - I really felt like many of the teachers could talk about these issues, while administrators and principals often have clearer descriptions about some of the bigger picture - new curriculum directions, ideas for further school improvements, etc.  Your best bet is to try to get a chance to talk to both teachers and administrators when you tour a school.

Technology is a big part of new teaching initiatives - smart boards, smart tables, computers in every room vs. computers centers...while I love the technology, I am not sure that my kid will learn better with all of this stuff.  I think they will certainly augment his learning experience, but I don't assume that his performance will suffer without these items.  Computers are everywhere, and I think a "typing" class is kind of a joke - I am assuming that kids probably pick that up from usage at home.  I think we shouldn't be stunned by technology as the be all and end all of modern education - I want to see a big, well-organized library full of ACTUAL books and a nice indoor and outdoor space for physical education and recess, full time guidance counselor/social worker and school nurse, art room, music class, and due to the reduced mandated hours for science and social studies (so that schools can increase their time for language arts and mathematics - see previous snarky comment about standardized testing...I despise No Child Left Behind...), let's see that material being integrated into the course work for Language Arts and Mathematics in a more "whole learning" approach.

Lastly, there are questions that just kind of popped up that were extremely informative - things like:
- How do you handle bullies at school?
- How do you help new students acclimatize?
- What events or programs do you have that increase cultural awareness?
- Do you serve hot and cold lunch and if so, do you use a debit system?
- Do your teachers take initiative (grant writing, sponsorship outreach) in finding resources to fund special arts or science programs (as funding for these programs have been cut nationally)?

This is just a sample of questions - I welcome any and all suggestions for other questions to ask - I think that parents, myself included, can use all the help they can get in navigating, and getting the most of, their local public school system.

LOSING MY "MOVING FROM THE CITY" BLUES

So a client and good friend confesses to me last week that after being in NJ for two years, he is finally getting used to it and feeling more positive and upbeat.  He, like most of us in Montclair, Glen Ridge, Maplewood/South Orange, and other Essex County towns are NYC transplants - those who discovered that trying to fit ourselves and children into our 800 square foot 2 bedroom apartments in Brooklyn was cruel, both to them and us!  So we look west to the Garden State, and discover that the American Dream is available in dutch colonial form on lots of 60x150, and if you are lucky, a family room on the first floor...and oh, those hardwood floors...gotta love that!

My husband dragged me kicking and screaming out here several years ago - after dealing with arbitrary fits of "subway rage" on the 1 train, and having a moment where I "outcrazied a crazy" on the streets, Raf decided he had had enough, and that it was time to find some space and to feel some grass under our toes before I ended up on NY1 as a tragically amusing headline story.  We made the move out to Maplewood, NJ, to Plymouth Avenue, a street that some might objectively call "the NICEST street in the world."  You may think I am exaggerating for effect, but really only slightly - on the day our two 24-ft trucks pulled up to the house, neighbors emerged from picturesque red doors and from behind trim rows of evergreen hedges to welcome us with smiles, stories and a variety of nut-free, glutenless confections.  It was overwhelming - we couldn't understand why they were being so NICE.  What did they want from us?  Was this a cult?  Some more crunchy version of the Stepfords?  I was intrigued, but wary.

Fall rolled into winter, and 3 months of bitter cold and snow kept most people indoors, and I fell prey to the winter glumness that many feel seasonally.  I spent my days working long hours, trapped indoors during the precious daylight hours, and trudging through the filthy winter streets of NY, where I was still working at Bellevue Hospital (yeah, that's a cheerful place).  I started to feel isolated from my friends, most of whom were still in the city.  I missed Central Park and the zoo, Ollie's Noodle House, the Museum of Natural History and the bustle of the theatres in Times Square.  I was depressed enough that I began to look at apartments in NYC again - thinking maybe we needed a little city studio for all those nights I would work late and need to meet friends and colleagues for dinner or drinks...or what about that romantic weekend in the city we could have once a month, rigtht?  huh?  sound good?  I was planning my grand return to urban fabulousness, much to my husband's chagrin.  He made me a wager - if I still felt this way after 1 whole year, we would consider moving back to the city.  I knew this was a bet that I would win...after all, I never lose.
Well, it's a bet I lost. 

One early spring afternoon, I looked out my window and saw something for the first time....new sun that is indescribably bright - perhaps because your eyes had grown accustomed to the greyness of winter.  Kids rode their bikes in the street and cars drove slowly past and waved.  Neighbors emerged from their houses, magically pregnant and with new haricuts to herald the arrival of spring!  It turns out the park across the street was a weekend magnet for little league games and spontaenous local soccer matches, with a tennis court to boot for all to use (well, I only used it once - let's not get into my ankle-twisting clumsiness on the court...ahem).  It took a little bit for us to let our guards down, but by the time they asked me to tag along for a dinner trip to Bunny's Pizzeria in South Orange with a group of families on the block, I was hooked.  These people were friendly, and I wanted more.

Getting involved with the neighborhood association, getting involved in the Preschool at Sharey Tefilo and even joining the public library are all things that have helped me to find my roots in this community.  I've made wonderful new friends and am looking forward to a post-holiday regifting potluck next weekend - there'll be lots of new people to meet there, and I can't wait to pawn off this really silly electronic gadget that we got from a cheap uncle who seems to think I am a teeage boy (I am sure one of the dads will love it).  So now I enjoy the Turtleback Zoo in West Orange and get my noodle soup at Cafe 88 in Livingston.  I get my culture from the Newark Museum and Montclair Art Museum, and music or theatre I want, I get from the South Orange Performing Arts Center or the Papermill Playhouse in Millburn.  I can't wait for my son to play Little League, and moms night out at Diva Lounge in Montclair in February is on my calendar...woo hoo, bring on the multi-coloured girly drinks!  Oh, and Central Park?  Who needs Central Park when I can swing from a hammock under the giant, ancient maple trees in my backyard?  My husband was right...I just had to give it a chance...

PS - we got rid of the studio.