Columbus Was an Immigrant!

East Hanover, as I discovered, has the region’s largest Columbus Day Parade & celebration, which I attended today, along with my 4 year old, who is a SUCKER for a marching band (when asked what he wants to be when he grows up, his standard answer is “bagpiper, because they march in parades”).  As I was returning to the shady spot I had staked out along the massive parade route from the port-o-potties (yes, this parade is big enough to have port-a-john stations…), I crossed the parking lot where a wide array of vintage and muscle car collectors were displaying their vehicles.  One gentleman in a gorgeous, baby blue 1956 Cadillac was pulling into the lot, and arguing about the spot he had been directed to.  “I don’t want to be with all them damn foreign cars, I wanna be there next to the American cars!  It’s Columbus Day and this car is American!”  There may have been an epithet or two as well, but who needs to share that, right?

I found myself really perplexed by the comment, which seemed to be somewhat paradoxical…or at least going against the grain of the very holiday itself.  This is the commemoration of the day that Christopher Columbus (an Italian), sailing for Spain, landed in the New World, and specifically, the Bahamas.  The Italian immigrants that came to this country in the mid-19^th century were seen for generations to come as foreigners themselves, fighting for homes, jobs and the right to worship God as Catholics.  Columbus Day is a symbol of that struggle, a celebration of Italian heritage and the collective strength of a people who came as “Italians” and remained as “Americans.”  I found the man’s comment shocking because I just couldn’t comprehend the idea that being co-opted into the American melting pot gives license to any man to separate himself from anyone else who also seeks that privilege and right.  I imagine that he may have been a proponent of “buying American,” but the “foreign” car he was referring to was a Japanese brand, undoubtedly now built in a US plant.   

As part of the Asian immigration wave that began after 1965, and myself being foreign-born, this comment cuts me to the core.  Because I am like that Japanese car – I am a real estate agent, a home owner and a tax payer.  I’m a member of the PTA, attended Sunday school, vacation at Disney World and VOTE my heart every time.  Maybe I’m not Italian, but my husband is, and my son carries proudly his father’s name and MINE…”Chu-Ricci.”  I guess my perspective is that I am just as thankful to Christopher Columbus and Queen Isabella of Spain for finding the Americas, setting into the play the events that lead to my American life.  Columbus Day, to me, is not just for Italian Americans, but for all immigrants, especially those that have the honor of calling themselves American, by birth or by naturalization.  And some grumpy old guy in a classic car can never take that away.

Columbus Day is essentially a patriotic holiday much in the vein of the 4^th of July, only without the fireworks or sheet cake with strawberry stripes and blueberry stars.  However, as far as patriotic holidays go, this one always seems flooded by politicians with their shiny teeth and lacquered hair, waving from vintage American cars – an image that brings to the surface a sense of nostalgia, of a time when things were better and life was easier and honest work was all a man expected out of life.  Perhaps it’s because Columbus Day is so close to November elections…the flesh-pressers just can’t pass up the chance to campaign.  This tinges the holiday for me…an underlying, subtle sense of discontent that follows politicians around like a lingering odor…”vote for me…I’ll make you rich…I’ll keep you safe…let’s take back America…”  From who?  From your neighborhood Vietnamese shop owner?  From the Greek family who runs the diner on Valley and Main?  From the ex-pat Brits who moved down the street 5 years ago when he was transferred by his company?  From the guy who owns the garage in town who you can’t tell where the heck he’s from because you’ve never heard a name like his before and he looks like he could be any number of things?  Why can’t this holiday just be about loving this country, no matter who you are?

And to the gentleman in the Caddy – remember, it’s only been about 6 decades since the end of WWII, and discrimination against Italians began to decline.  That’s not that long ago – it certainly isn’t long enough ago to forget what it means to be an immigrant in America. 

So You Think You're Moving to Jersey!: Columbus Was an Immigrant!

So You Think You're Moving to Jersey!: Columbus Was an Immigrant!: "East Hanover, as I discovered, has the region’s largest Columbus Day Parade & celebration, which I attended today, along with my 4 year old,..."

How I failed my son in school...and what I can do the FIX it...

A client of of mine recently expressed concern about her younger son, who is undoubtedly, advanced academically – I mean, I have seen this kid read AND comprehend material that many high schoolers would have difficulty with. Despite being in a multi-age class, the material being presented in his 1^st & 2^nd grade classroom just wasn't compelling to him. Now, mind you, he goes to a good school. A VERY good public school – great test scores, great faculty, and as much as you can get from a public school in a country where public school funding is the government wallflower of “let's-just-take-a-little-more-from-you.” It reminded me that no matter how good your school is, public or private, the most important thing to ensure your child excels, is parental involvement.

My own son attended a local Montessori pre-school last year for his 3's, and it was, needless to say, an experience that I found to be an ill fit. Now, regardless of the whole set of Montessori principals, which I do believe in for the right child (my son, is NOT ideal for a self-directing environment...), I found that he left to his self-direct, would wander aimless from activity to activity. Being somewhat precocious on some skills and behind on others, I found that casual interactions...even parent-teacher conferences weren't sufficient in getting to the root of how best to TEACH him. The school was lovely, but they did little to further his already advancing reading and comprehension skills, and instead focused much of their efforts on socialization and direction following. This is not a surprise – my son could use work on both. But without a way to engage him on what he DOES love, they had a hard time getting him to do what he DIDN'T want to do.

I, of course, missed all of this – went right under my radar – I mean, when we talked, he was always “improving at listening” and “getting better at following directions.” This sounded like progress, right?  Until the very last two months of the school year, when the headmistress advised that I consider “getting him tested.” “For what?” I ask, completely blindsided. “Well, ask your pediatrician – he just can't sit still and follow direction,” they tell me. I think that is teacher codes for “attention deficit,” but since he is only 3, no one wants to be the one to start THAT ball down the aisle... So with one sentence, everything I thought I knew about my son and his educational standing was completely blown out of the water.

I then proceeded to discover, a week later, at a field trip to a giant petting zoo disguised as a farm (Green Meadows in Hazlet – lovely day trip, by the way...), that despite my telling them several times, they hadn't realized the extent of my son's reading capability. When standing in front of the donkey paddock, my son looks at the sign and says “Pancho? That's not a Pancho, it's a donkey!” (obviously the name of said donkey). The teacher next to him was amazed that he had read the word on the sign – a word he was unfamiliar with and had to sound out with a solid grasp of phonics. At that moment, I realized just how little they knew of my son's capabilities, and how little they were equipped to deal with his potential attention-based issues. I also realized, with great humiliation, how little I had understodd of the situation and done to advocate for him. I walked away feeling it was a waste of year - not to mention the pricey tuition – but mostly, I was sad that he didn't get the most he could have from the experience.

So I set out to find ways that a parent can take a more active role in their child's educational process, and my sister-in-law, an elementary school teacher in CA who has taught in every environment possible – from inner city schools to Jewish day school - helped me to define a few key points on how to keep the lines of communication open with your child's school:

• Go to the first meet and greet – even if you have to take part of the day off work – it's worth it to know who will be shaping your child's mind/body/soul for the next 9 months. Make sure you also know any of the paraprofessionals that may be working with your child.
• Find a small block of time, even if it is just 10 minutes, to introduce what your child's strengths are – trust me, they will find the weaknesses after just two weeks in the classroom, but a child's strongest suits can often be hidden in shyness or even lost on a sea of children with greater immediate needs. A good teacher will cleverly use your child's strengths in the classroom to positively affect the entire class.
• Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer. It's time consuming and we all cringe at the idea of a bake sale fundraiser, but find the time to do at least one event per year – it's the best way to keep your ear to ground about new developments at school and how they may affect your child.
• If you feel that the material is not working for your child – be it too basic or too advanced, bring in supplemental materials that your child may enjoy working on at home, and ask the teacher to find ways to implement them. They should be able to find ways to integrate the material, and if they resist, you can always continue the work at home on your own.
• When you prepare for parent conferences, have your questions ready to go – this way you can make the best use of your time with the teachers.
• If issues do arise in the classroom, ask your teachers how they are addressing them, and find ways to support at home. Since my preschooler has some early signs of potential attention-based issues, the teacher's approach at school, which does seem to be having a positive affect on his abilities to focus, we mirror at home as much as possible.
• Funding is always an issue with schools, and with budgets slashed for “non-essential” programs, such as art, music and drama, look for ways in which you can either help provide funds for specific projects (getting a local business to sponsor) or if there are talented members of the community who may be interested in giving their time for a special class event here or there.

I have a special place in my heart for the Marshall School in South Orange – this is the school that my son will be attending once he hits Kindergarten. In my duties as a real estate agent, I often arrange and attending school tours with my clients, and I was especially impressed by this school. You could tell at the end of last year that the schools were really smarting after the funding cuts, and on a tour of the Marshall School, I saw a beautiful quilt, clearly a proudly displayed class project. Out of curiosity, I asked the tour guide (one of the administrators) where they got the money for this project. She replied, “The teacher who did this researched, wrote and received a grant for this project. We're very proud of how proactive our teachers are.” I can't wait for my kid to get her!

I suppose that there is no panacea for the issues with our American public school system, but it really is a choice to make the most of what it provides to our children. I hope I don't appear to be overbearing, but better that than oblivious as before. I see now that I am the best advocate for my child in the system, and I won't fail him again. Oh, and by the way, now he knows that “Pancho” is the name of the donkey...

Don't Miss the SUPER SALE on NJ Homes!

There is no doubt that you have noticed an increase in homes on the market - many sellers waited out the spring market to gauge recovery, and because of the home buyer tax credit, etc., we had a bit of a false positive on the state of market recovery.  So many would-be sellers, anticipating a good summer/fall season, put their homes on for sale.  The result was a mini-glut of homes, some priced to sell, others priced to sit...some priced to sit until they became as stale as last week's bread.

Increased home inventories in our local towns seem to have had a strange effect on the local buyers as well - with so many homes on the market, all sense of urgency to buy is gone.  The few buyers that are qualified to buy are reveling in towns with inventories of 4 to 8 months worth of homes for sale - nearly double the amount of inventory as we are accustomed to.  So...the result?  Buyers take twice as long to wade through the inventory...and even then, they seem to be suffering a little of the "gotta be a cheaper gas station at the next rest stop" syndrome.  Without any sense of urgency, they pass on beautiful, lovely homes in the elusive search for the "PERFECT" home (I know I can get a 2 car garage, master suite AND a full finished basement if I just look hard enough...I can wait...).

Now, I, as a real estate agent, am all for buyers getting what they want - I myself stalked my current house for 6 months before making a move, so I know the impulse.  But there are a few caveats to this strategy that will help us to balance the delicate need to find a home we love, as well as "play the game" to our advantage in price:

1) Do not let "PERFECT" become the enemy of the "GOOD" - buyers remember, this part of NJ is full of sturdy older homes - if you are looking for a house with a master suite walk-in closet, unless someone has chewed up a second bedroom to make it, it probably doesn't exist.  When these houses were built, no one had 50 pairs of designer sandals, so you aren't going to find the storage for them in your room.  Temper your expectations in a reasonable fashion in relation to the kinds of homes in the area, and if you choose to live this close to NYC, you might have to choose between a family room and a 5 minute stroll to the train station.

2) Record LOW interest rates not appealing enough for you?  Conventional wisdom says that they will stay low through the November elections, after which, historically, there is a bump in rates.  While a quarter of half point bump doesn't do a lot of damage to your buying bottom line, for first time home buyers, it can seriously affect what you can afford.  Remember, a 1% increase in interest rates means a reduction in your home buying power by 9%.  And with interest rates already well below 5% for most qualified buyers, this is the time to borrow - money has never been cheaper, and no, I don't see them dropping further.

3) Oh, let's not forget the record low home prices.  In this area, we thank our lucky stars for the proximity to NYC because we know that we didn't lose value like Nevada or Florida or Michigan.  Homes have lost on average between 10%-25% of their values from the height of the market, and if you want to get a good price on a home, offer strategically and make an evaluation of why the seller is doing so.  It will help you to get the best price for a home - of course, that is why you work with a realtor, too - to help you make these decisions and negotiations.  And please note, around here in northern NJ, there are towns that still have bidding wars on homes, so don't think we aren't still somewhat strong as far as housing markets go.  Oh, and all the experts (Case-Schiller index for instance reported that prices were up slightly in September in the top metro areas, which does include north NJ), say that prices are trending back up -  the overall national average for September is up 4.2% over this same time last year.

4) Motivated sellers - enough said.  It's a buyers market.  We all know this.

5) Motivated lenders - underwriting standards seem to finally be settling down from the subprime disaster, and fund are available.  If you have a job (with decent credit) and can afford the payments, chances are, you can afford a mortgage.

Have you ever noticed that when there is a table of shirts for sale, no one seems interested unless you see another shopper thumbing through them with a stack of shirts that they are considering buying?  And then all of the sudden, that microfiber lightweight windbreaker that woman has in her hand is "just what you were looking for, too...oh, and it's the last one..."  We all understand the law of supply and demand - if the demand goes up as it does in the spring, supply will go down, and prices will start to inch up.  Don't miss the clearance sales going on right now!

We shall see what this fall brings - I have a handful of hardy, intrepid buyers that see the value of buying now, not only because of the rates and prices, but because they see the market over the next few months being especially fruitful as sellers may look to get out before the holidays and winter.  I know these buyers are going to get a great deal on a home...and I am going to make sure they get the most for their money.  Because in the spring, as always, there will be a bump in prices - small or not, a bump is a bump.  Come check out the sale table while you can...

High Essex County Property Taxes? File an Appeal? What's to Lose?

In a market where prices have come down, home owners have a lot to gain by appealing their property assessments - especially for owners who may be looking to sell in the next year or two, higher taxes can really deter potential home buyers.  If you are planning on selling your home soon, now is the time to organize an appeal of your assessment - the timeframe is January 1st-April 1^st, 2011 to file the appeal - don't miss it!

The best avenue of appeal is hiring a tax appeal attorney, and barring that, hiring a professional appraiser who can testify at your appeals hearing.  Those solutions are all quite pricey, costing at a minimum, $1000.  If you are an intrepid home owner and would like to give it a shot on your own, please note the instructions forwarded to me.

TAX APPEAL INSTRUCTIONS
The form (A-1Petition of Appeal) for an appeal to the County Board of Taxation may be downloaded from the NJACTB site. The link is: http://www.njactb.org/
At the Home/Welcome page, select "Forms" from the list near the top. At the "page not found" page that follows, type "A-1 Petition of Appeal" in the search window at the top right and click on Submit. THE FORM MUST BE PRINTED ON LEGAL SIZED PAPER.
Information needed to fill out the form may be obtained by selecting "Record Search" at the NJACTB Home/Welcome page. Form may be filled out by hand.

1. Select County
2. Select Municipality
3. Type Street address in the "Location" section, i.e. 123 Chestnut

General Information:
Property Class is "2" for 1-4 family residences.
Cite your name & contact information.
Cite attorney name and contact information as "person or attorney to be notified".
Requested Assessment can be any amount, or can be noted "appraisal to be provided", leaving the requested assessment blank.
Reason for Appeal should be "Assessment exceeds market value".
Note "Appraisal to be provided" in the COMPARABLE SALES section.
You will need 3 copies of the completed appeal form
Date and sign as petitioner.
Deliver a copy to the Municipal Tax Assessor office, noting date and name of town as indicated. Date and sign.
Deliver a copy to the Municipal Clerk's office, noting date and name of town as indicated. Date and sign.
Mail (return receipt recommended) a copy with a check in the appropriate amount (see instructions on page 2 downloaded with form) to:
Essex County Board of Taxation
50 S. Clinton Street
East Orange, NJ 07018
The forms must be filed no later than April 1, 2011.  After the filing deadline the County Board will establish hearing dates. Hearings will not begin until May and may continue into August, depending upon the number of appeals received. You and your lawyer will be notified of the hearing date 10-12 days in advance. Hearings are usually scheduled in order of Block #. The appraisal is filed with the town and county 7 days before the hearing.

Clark, NJ...fabulous place to live...well, according to Bloomberg...

The eternal question for those of us who are tied to NYC through jobs and general culture is: where do I go if I choose to leave the city?  How do I maintain a short commute to NYC, not only for may daily commute for work, but also to see shows, have dinner and enjoy urban life and all the enriching culture that comes with it still?  We want the best of both worlds - good schools, affordable housing, space to grow our families or to retire in peace...all within a 30 minute drive to the most exciting city in the world (okay, rush hour traffic aside...). 

For those of you looking to make the move, Bloomberg BusinessWeek published a recent article highlighting an often over-looked community, Clark, NJ.  With a population under 14,000 and a median family income just under $100k/year, this is a town that has managed to maintain lower taxes (5k-9k/year), while still having excellent schools, relatively low crime and pollution, lots of green space in relationship to developed space as well as have a fair commute to NYC if you need it.  It doesn't have its own station, but nearby stations do provide train access.  There is a handful of newer construction homes that top almost $1M in home price, but there are also a large number of reasonable starter homes that range between 300k-550k.  These prices, coupled with a lower tax rate, often make for more affordable living, as well as a nice community vibe (town pool, small schools, golf & tennis, parks, etc.).

Check out the article for more information:  http://realestate.yahoo.com/promo/best-affordable-suburbs-in-america-2010 

My Holiday Events List with Kids

So, every year when the holidays roll around, I get this panicked feeling - school lets out, and I have a crazed, house-bound toddler who rips apart my entire house because he can't wait for Christmas.  So to kill two birds with one stone, I plan a series of local (and not so local) holiday events that I can slowly dole out to him starting the first weekend of December and going thru the new year.  Here is a cross sample of the events, in case you need some ideas of what to do with your kids before they go stir crazy (by the way, I have included events in nearby by NYC and PA - things that a 2-5 year old can withstand, so no stage shows or anything):

DICKENS VILLAGE - Maplewood village center - Dec. 12^th & 19th - 1-4pm - wagon ride, book readings, reindeer, petting zoo & holiday songs (my kid loves the tiny houses)

DYKER Lights in Brooklyn - best Mid-Dec. to New Years, 7-9pm (weekends best viewing) - located 11^th-13^th Ave to 83^rd-86^th St - some of the best (gaudiest) light displays  - these folks hire designers, seriously!

NYC HOLIDAY WINDOW/LIGHT/TREE TOUR - Dec. thru New Years - Macy's, Lord & Taylor, Rockerfeller Center, Saks, Bergdorf, Barney's Bloomies, Lincoln Center Tree & Park Avenue (bewteen 48^th-97^th Streets)

TURTLEBACK ZOO Holiday Festival of Lights in West Orange - Dec. 5^th thru Jan. 2^nd - 5-9pm - w/ train & carousel - Adults: $7/Children: $3 - 973-731-5800

HOLIDAY LIGHT SHOW - Schaefer Farms - 1051 Route 523, Flemington, NJ - 908-782-2705 - Thanksgiving to New Years (Mon-Fri 5:30-9pm / Sat-Sun 5:30-10pm) - $12/car (Santa visits 6-8pm on 12/11, 12/12, 12/18, 12/19)

GINGERBREAD CONTEST - Essex County Enviromental Center - 621B Eagle Rock Avenue, Roseland - 973-228-8776 - Dec. 1^st-18^th  (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm / Sat 10am-2pm) - Awards Sat. Dec. 19^th at 9:30am

GINGERBREAD WONDERLAND at FRELINGHUYSEN ARBORETUM - 53 East Hanover Avenue, Morristown/Whippany - 973-326-7601 -  Dec 5^th- 13^th    (10:00a-5:00p daily, Friday until 8:00p) - Arboretum & Haggerty Education Center open 9am-dusk

AMERICA ON WHEELS - 5 North Front Street, Allentown, PA - 610-432-4200 (closed select holidays) - Tue-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12-5pm - Adults $7, under 5 free (tix by 4pm) - OKAY, SO THIS ISN'T REALLY A HOLIDAY EVENT, BUT MY SON IS OBSSESSED WITH CARS!  ISN'T YOURS?

KOZIER CHRISTMAS VILLAGE - 782 Christmas Village Road, Bernville, PA - 610-488-1110 - Dec. 1st-Jan. 3^rd - Mon-Fri 6-9pm, Sat-Sun 5-9:30pm - Adults $8, under 5 free (6-9 on holiday & eves)

CAMDEN AQUARIUM FISHMAS - 1 Riverside Dr., Camden - 856-365-3300 - Nov. 27^th-Jan. 3^rd - 9:30am-5pm, Adults $19.95, Children (2-12) $15.95 - Santa scuba dives, mascot dance party, Polar Express 4D ride, Rudolph

GRAND CENTRAL TERMINAL in NYC - 42^nd bet. Vanderbilt & Lexington - Light show - 11/30 - 1/11 - Main Terminal - 11am-9pm, every half hour on the half hour & Holiday Train Show- 11/25-1/16 - shuttle passage next to station manager's office, Mon-Fri 8am-8pm; Sat-Sun 10am-6pm - 718-694-1600

CAMDEN CHILDRENS GARDEN Holiday Festival of Lights - 3 Riverside Drive, Camden - 856-365-8733 - Fri. & Sat. 12/11, 12/12, 12/18, 12/19, 12/26, 1/2 - 5:30pm-8pm all Dec. - $6 Adults, $5 ($4 extra for festival of lights) - 4.5 acres along waterfront, 100K lights, Santa, 3Kings, Day, butterfly house, rides, Santa

MONMOUTH MUSEUM @ Brookdale Community College - 765 Newman Springs Road, Lincroft, NJ 07738 - 732-747-2266, $7/person or $8 (includes planetarium show) - Tues-Sat. 10am-4:30pm, Sun. 1-5pm (Planetarium Tues-Fri @ 4pm, Sat/Sun @ 1:30pm & 3pm (always call for availability of Wonder Wing & Becker Gallery), model railroad & tree display, Sundays best.

And of course, evey town pretty much has its own First Night Celebration for New Years - check your local town website for details - how much, when and where....

Please note that these were times and prices for 2009 (haven't seen anyone publish their 2010 schedules yet, so please check for new schedules and details before you head out.  Enjoy the holidays in 2010!

How Do You Get the Most Out of Your School Tours?

SO...I recently had the pleasure (or pain - depends on your POV) of attending school tours for elementary schools in both Maplewood/South Orange and Glen Ridge, NJ - both great towns with great schools, but also very different.  At my first tour, I found the experience to be chaotic and uninformative - which turned me off to the school immediately.  Oh, what was a mom to do?????

Upon further reflection, I realized that I was a poor advocate for myself - I chose a difficult time of day and an inappropriate tour guide and asked very few useful questions!  So, of course I walked away scratching my head!  So I have a few notes here that I want to share with you regarding school tours - just a few thoughts so that you won't have the same experience.

First, choose your time of day carefully - if you want to see chaos, go at lunchtime - this way you can see how they manage their traffic flow, recess class mixing and how the kids mingle during their downtime.  I was also pleased to see that at some schools, the children were in charge of various lunchtime duties for their class, which was nice.  If you want to see kids in classrooms, then avoid lunch at all costs - this way, you can see more class room dynamic.  In the morning, the kids seemed energetic, but I noted that in all the schools, by 2pm, they were walking zombies - don't let the post lunch energy dump be confused with a lackluster environment - it's probably just end of day.

Next, make sure you get a good tour guide - I got the chance to tour with principals, vice principals, administrators, as well as teachers.  I tended to get the best, most honest feeling answers from the teachers - they ARE the ones down in the trenches.  They had informative things to say about class size, inclusive classrooms, the struggle between teaching kids to learn vs. teaching towards the standardized testing - I really felt like many of the teachers could talk about these issues, while administrators and principals often have clearer descriptions about some of the bigger picture - new curriculum directions, ideas for further school improvements, etc.  Your best bet is to try to get a chance to talk to both teachers and administrators when you tour a school.

Technology is a big part of new teaching initiatives - smart boards, smart tables, computers in every room vs. computers centers...while I love the technology, I am not sure that my kid will learn better with all of this stuff.  I think they will certainly augment his learning experience, but I don't assume that his performance will suffer without these items.  Computers are everywhere, and I think a "typing" class is kind of a joke - I am assuming that kids probably pick that up from usage at home.  I think we shouldn't be stunned by technology as the be all and end all of modern education - I want to see a big, well-organized library full of ACTUAL books and a nice indoor and outdoor space for physical education and recess, full time guidance counselor/social worker and school nurse, art room, music class, and due to the reduced mandated hours for science and social studies (so that schools can increase their time for language arts and mathematics - see previous snarky comment about standardized testing...I despise No Child Left Behind...), let's see that material being integrated into the course work for Language Arts and Mathematics in a more "whole learning" approach.

Lastly, there are questions that just kind of popped up that were extremely informative - things like:
- How do you handle bullies at school?
- How do you help new students acclimatize?
- What events or programs do you have that increase cultural awareness?
- Do you serve hot and cold lunch and if so, do you use a debit system?
- Do your teachers take initiative (grant writing, sponsorship outreach) in finding resources to fund special arts or science programs (as funding for these programs have been cut nationally)?

This is just a sample of questions - I welcome any and all suggestions for other questions to ask - I think that parents, myself included, can use all the help they can get in navigating, and getting the most of, their local public school system.

Summer bugs and tips for keeping healthcare costs down

It's been a difficult summer here in our household - we've struggled, no doubt as many of you had, with summer illnesses that have wracked our family with doctors visits and prescription antibiotics.  Even a bout with pink eye after a particular raucous birthday party, and a trip and fall that resulted in a lump the size of Texas and an ER visit because it was followed by vomiting and dizziness.  Most of my friends have battled similar issues - upset stomach, coughing and feverish malaise.  And with the healthcare debate raging in our country, I had a few thoughts about how to decrease your healthcare costs...just in case this works for you...
For those of you with healthcare through your work...well, la di da and good for you!  You are the lucky ones, and we are thrilled for you.  For those of us who have had our benefits slashed due to the economy, or who function as independent contractors have had to search out our own healthcare, and with families, the system isn't always kind on your wallet. 

After tedious weeks of research, my husband and I discovered that because most insurance companies put a premium on family plans, you may be paying more for a family plan than with individual insurance for each member of your family.  We noted that with Amerihealth, for instance, it was cheaper to buy each of us an individual policy over the family policy, which seems to make more sense once you have more than two children (as the family policy is the same price no matter how many kids you have).  At the same time, because my husband and I were NOT planning on having another child this year, we reduced my maternity care for the year, which saved us a couple of buck - we can always reinstate during the next renewal period if we decide that we want to try for another baby.

Interestingly enough, I have had some difficulty getting our family physicians to not over-prescribe for us.  We don't have the best prescription drug coverage, and I have found myself insisting to our doctors to write us prescriptions that have generic versions in situations where feasible.  So for instance, when I needed a simple amoxicillin based antibiotic, I had to struggle pretty hard to get my doctor to write for a generic amoxicillin, rather than the name brand, which costs $65 as opposed to the $4 at the Target pharmacy!  But persistence pays off and you have to advocate for yourself in these cases.

What else is to be done other than to take advantage of the family buy-one-get-one-free eyeglass deals...and of course, there are free clinics all over NJ for both medical and dental needs - check them out at http://freemedicalcamps.com/vcity.php?stateid=NJ.  Most of these places are primarily for low income residents of the community, and may ask for a donation or charge a small fee.  I know when I was a student, I utilized these services in NYC myself all the time, so I know the value of a free community health clinic.
Back to the routine of summer life, just as it is ending, right?  Great, only two days left on my antibiotics...let's hope that is the last of the summer bugs to go around...

Staycation Day Trips for Frugal Families - Flemington is an awesome day trip

Local festivities seem to be the place to be this summer, as many of us put the big family trips on hold due to the economy - aside from a family wedding in DC, we don't have much of anything planned.  Of course, this thought sends me into convulsions - "how do I keep my kid from going insane this summer with boredom?  Besides sending them to camp and mini-camp and soccer camp and music class and art class and swim class and joining the town pool and going to gym class (need I go on????), we take advantage of the playgrounds and schedule as many play dates as we can bear to handle (because if you go on them, you have to HOST them, too, right?).  Well, I have some suggestions that I think may offer families some one-off activities and fun day-trips that will keep the summer feeling fun and exciting.  This is the first posting for a blog series this summer all about family fun within a day's drive.

About an hour west of the county on I-78 and I-287 is the town of Flemington, NJ, which has some of the best summer programming events I have ever seen.  Their business association sponsors fun activities from May to August, including a recurring Classic Car Show, which my son is totally nuts for.  Hundreds of classic cars are on display, entered by their owners, many of whom seem to travel around from car show to car show the entire summer - a tight-knit group who seem to know each other well, and who mostly seem pleased to have my toddler gawking at their cars with admiration and wonder.  Last summer, my son and I relaxed with a lovely dinner at a sidewalk café and watched the cars go by.

The town also hosts a continuing "Music on Main Street" series, as well as a Family Film Night, both of which seem to be very well-attended all summer long.  Oh, and don't forget, they do a have a rather anemic, but fuctional outlet mall (which includes a Mikasa, a Le Creuset, and the [in]famous Flemington Furs, of course), in case you grow weary of the kid focused events and want to get a little somethin' somethin' for yourself.  Ooo, don't miss this really fun store in the Flemington town centre called RED VANILLA - it's a factory direct store with some really cool housewares at really reasonable prices.

Last but not least, the model train and doll museum are located on Rt. 202 - behold the wonder of NORTHLANDZ!  Well, basically a really well-to-do gentleman by the name of Bruce Williams with a huge passion for model trains overfilled his basement with fantastically intricate scenes and train structures, and eventually, they got a space and display over 8 miles of model train track, thereby creating the model train gallery that is Northlandz.  It is amazing - when my son was 18 months, he spent 2 hours walking through the gallery, which included a doll museum, a dollhouse, as well as a huge pipe organ display.  Of course, afterwards, we also took a short ride on their steam engine replica through their little wooded area off to the side of the property.  It's a day trip that we are planning to definitely do again this summer, as his fascination with trains has only compounded.  http://www.northlandz.com/

For information about the calendar of events in Flemington, check out their website:  http://www.frbanj.com/calendar.html - lots of great events.

So You Think You're Moving to Jersey!: LOSING MY "MOVING FROM THE CITY" BLUES

So You Think You're Moving to Jersey!: LOSING MY "MOVING FROM THE CITY" BLUES: "So a client and good friend confesses to me last week that after being in NJ for two years, he is finally getting used to it and feeling mor..."

Tracking the Condo/Townhouse Market in Essex County, NJ

National news headlines have been the bane of my existence for months.  Housing market headlines in particular.  Worst housing market in decades...lowest prices in years...foreclosures skyrocketing....and yes, while the national market is suffering, I think it's a good idea to look closely at the statistics behind our local, regional market - just a quick nugget of information that may help clarify the housing market in your town, and how that effects you and your home sale or purchase.   *What?  Did you think the blog was only going to be funny stuff about my kid and my misadventures as a new mom?*  Well, sure but I also sell a lot of real estate, and I'm trying to help my clients and potential future clients to do what is best in this volatile market!  Today, I am focusing on condos/townhouses, and in towns where my clients tend to search, which is most of Essex County.

Multiple Listing Services tracks all homes sold, so a search of all condos/townhouses/co-ops in the area resulted in something quite revealing.  From May to August of 2008, which was the high market of last year, condos listed averaged 90 days on market, and sold for an average of 4% under list price - and in a town like Montclair that has a thriving condo market, homes were maintaining and average of 97.5% of list price, which means a unit listed for $350k was still selling for roughly 341,250.  Check out the chart below for more specifics:

Essex County Statistics (includes: Montclair, Glen Ridge, Bloomfield, the Caldwells, Livingston, Verona, South Orange, Maplewood, Nutley,  Roseland, Cedar Grove, West Orange & Millburn):

Under Contract Date	End of 2007	Jan-Apr 2008	May-Aug 2008	Sep 2008-Jan 2009
Days on Market	103	95	90	96
Sold at % of List Price	98.3%	96.3%	96.1%	94.6%

Specific Towns from May-August 2008:

TOWN	Avg List $	Avg Sold $	Sold at % of List Price	Days on Market
Livingston	696857	671921	96.4%	97
Montclair	403725	392431	97.2%	92
The Caldwells	276694	264845	95.7%	111
Bloomfield	322327	311245	96.6%	169
West Orange	428477	415337	97%	69
South Orange	706870	663191	93.8%	95
Nutley	364817	353810	97%	93
Maplewood	207240	202590	97.8%	70
Roseland	629300	606666	96.4%	67
Verona	272720	256800	94.2%	71
Millburn	219092	213907	97.6%	82
Glen Ridge	180950	172375	95.3%	42
Cedar Grove	509674	485000	95.2%	45

 
Specific Towns from September 2008-January 2009:

TOWN	Avg List $	Avg Sold $	Sold at % of List Price	Days on Market
Livingston	577518	553381	95.8%	89
Montclair	327350	311875	95.2%	55
The Caldwells	276200	257333	93.2%	86
Bloomfield	238433	222733	93.4%	74
West Orange	411322	388823	94.5%	104
South Orange	425100	403428	95%	73
Nutley	320364	305785	95.4%	112
Maplewood	287980	242800	84.3%	141
Roseland	476750	464250	97.4%	105
Verona	240860	229600	95.3%	81
Millburn	349000	320000	92%	148
Glen Ridge	210500	195333	92.8%	150
Cedar Grove	462500	447000	96.6%	97

Now, for some of these towns, such as Glen Ridge, Cedar Grove, Millburn, Maplewood...there aren't a lot of community living properties in general, so numbers are based on a smaller number of statistics, while Nutley, Montclair and West Orange have the most units available.  Bargain hunters, note, folks just aren't selling their homes for 15% under list, or even 10% under list.  So, congratulations if you luck into a great deal on a home, but for most of us, proximity to the city and town atmosphere have kept the prices buoyant in much of the county, so you have to decide for yourself..."How much is THIS home worth to YOU?"

STOP PULLING YOUR HAIR OUT ON SNOW DAYS

This Wednesday morning brings sad tidings to parents across the state as inclement weather cancels school and delays openings, including a noon opening for my own office here at REMAX in Upper Montclair.  Trapped at home yet ANOTHER winter day with my 2 year old - I find myself shaking a fist at the weather gods, who seem determined to force me to play monster trucks and watch the Owen Wilson CARS movie for the 298th time - which I have decided is just one time too many.  So I look around for things to do with my toddler that will both occupy his attention and mine, run him out so that napping is achieved without complaint and will reduce winter cabin-fever...now up to 50%!

If you live in a town in north NJ, like here in Essex County, chances are the industrious plow-heros were out clearing the roads well before sunrise, so major roads and arteries are safe to drive on.  I've put together a list of things I do with my son on snowy cold days, rainy days...or even just days when we just don't want to be outdoors due to extreme cold or heat:

On snow days, my son, Declan, and I often frequent indoor playground areas, such as the Kidgits play area at the Livingston Mall downstairs next to the Sears.  Plus for $5 a year, a child can join the Simon Kidgits Club - they get a shirt, b-day gift and invitations to various mall events through out the year, as well as mall discounts.  A second mall option for the indoor playground is for when I am feeling a little more ambitious - at the Jersey Gardens Mall in Elizabeth, which has a small playground area, as well as a JEEPERS!, which is a little indoor amusement park with kid size rides and giant climbing structure that my son is not yet strong enough or coordinated for (just try telling HIM that...).  Better for older kids because there are height restrictions, so give them a call at 908-289-9454 to make sure it's right for your family - plus, the rides do cost money, but we can usually while away part of an afternoon on $10 or less.  Since Declan is fairly tall and enjoys taunting gravity, so this is one of his favorite indoor play areas - he wears bruises with great pleasure, and likes to point them out with giggly excitement to teachers, other parents, just about anyone with adult authority, so he loves the climbing cage.  Lastly, sometimes, when times become desperate and I need to keep the peace at all costs, I will make the occasion McDonald's run, and the one off the Garden State Parkway in Bloomfield has a very large, fairly clean and well-maintained children's play area that keeps my son busy long after the french fries have gotten cold and hard - if you need directions, call 973-338-4641 - I usually take the back roads, from Broad Street, to James to East Passaic Ave, rather than the GSP entrance, depending on where I am coming from.

One fantastic option is bringing your child to a drop in class at The Magic Acorn, a Waldorf-inspired classroom experience, located at 174 S. Valley Rd. West Orange at the Ridgeview Community Church, Meeker St. entrance, up the stairs.  This is a nurturing enviroment where parent and child get to participate in creative free play and work on projects that emphasize the natural world. On Wednesdays from 9:30am to 2pm this winter, Amy Heneghan (a truly awesome lady) bakes fresh bread and steeps tea for the class, which has a suggested donation of $15 per adult/child pair, with $5 per additional child - I would suggest letting her know in advance when you want to drop in, as space can be limited - 973-945-8424.  Regular weekly classes are also available, where child and parent participate in creative play, song and movement circle-time, poems and storytelling, yummy fresh snacks and interactive storytelling through tabletop puppetry.  Check out www.themagicacorn.com for more information.

Okay, please don't judge me on this one, but occasionally, my son will ask to "look at the puppies," so I take him to the Shake-a-Paw in Union - it's a puppy store at 2195 Rt. 22 West in Union, and I know, I know, it's probably the purveyor of a huge number of puppy mill victims and while I would never encourage you to purchase a pet there (email me if you want to know more about pet adoption in the area), that place has provided hours of entertainment for my son, as well as has been helpful in introducing him to dogs in a safe and controlled enviroment, which I find helpful in dealing with any discomfort or fear he may have had of dogs.  I think if you are also eventually looking for a dog for your family, it's a great first exposure.

Okay, time for lunch - afterwards, I think we'll head out to make some frightfully misshapen snow people (come on, he's two...he hands can barely form balls with snow).  Sometimes, a snow day just begs to be a day in the snow...

LOSING MY "MOVING FROM THE CITY" BLUES

So a client and good friend confesses to me last week that after being in NJ for two years, he is finally getting used to it and feeling more positive and upbeat.  He, like most of us in Montclair, Glen Ridge, Maplewood/South Orange, and other Essex County towns are NYC transplants - those who discovered that trying to fit ourselves and children into our 800 square foot 2 bedroom apartments in Brooklyn was cruel, both to them and us!  So we look west to the Garden State, and discover that the American Dream is available in dutch colonial form on lots of 60x150, and if you are lucky, a family room on the first floor...and oh, those hardwood floors...gotta love that!

My husband dragged me kicking and screaming out here several years ago - after dealing with arbitrary fits of "subway rage" on the 1 train, and having a moment where I "outcrazied a crazy" on the streets, Raf decided he had had enough, and that it was time to find some space and to feel some grass under our toes before I ended up on NY1 as a tragically amusing headline story.  We made the move out to Maplewood, NJ, to Plymouth Avenue, a street that some might objectively call "the NICEST street in the world."  You may think I am exaggerating for effect, but really only slightly - on the day our two 24-ft trucks pulled up to the house, neighbors emerged from picturesque red doors and from behind trim rows of evergreen hedges to welcome us with smiles, stories and a variety of nut-free, glutenless confections.  It was overwhelming - we couldn't understand why they were being so NICE.  What did they want from us?  Was this a cult?  Some more crunchy version of the Stepfords?  I was intrigued, but wary.

Fall rolled into winter, and 3 months of bitter cold and snow kept most people indoors, and I fell prey to the winter glumness that many feel seasonally.  I spent my days working long hours, trapped indoors during the precious daylight hours, and trudging through the filthy winter streets of NY, where I was still working at Bellevue Hospital (yeah, that's a cheerful place).  I started to feel isolated from my friends, most of whom were still in the city.  I missed Central Park and the zoo, Ollie's Noodle House, the Museum of Natural History and the bustle of the theatres in Times Square.  I was depressed enough that I began to look at apartments in NYC again - thinking maybe we needed a little city studio for all those nights I would work late and need to meet friends and colleagues for dinner or drinks...or what about that romantic weekend in the city we could have once a month, rigtht?  huh?  sound good?  I was planning my grand return to urban fabulousness, much to my husband's chagrin.  He made me a wager - if I still felt this way after 1 whole year, we would consider moving back to the city.  I knew this was a bet that I would win...after all, I never lose.
Well, it's a bet I lost. 

One early spring afternoon, I looked out my window and saw something for the first time....new sun that is indescribably bright - perhaps because your eyes had grown accustomed to the greyness of winter.  Kids rode their bikes in the street and cars drove slowly past and waved.  Neighbors emerged from their houses, magically pregnant and with new haricuts to herald the arrival of spring!  It turns out the park across the street was a weekend magnet for little league games and spontaenous local soccer matches, with a tennis court to boot for all to use (well, I only used it once - let's not get into my ankle-twisting clumsiness on the court...ahem).  It took a little bit for us to let our guards down, but by the time they asked me to tag along for a dinner trip to Bunny's Pizzeria in South Orange with a group of families on the block, I was hooked.  These people were friendly, and I wanted more.

Getting involved with the neighborhood association, getting involved in the Preschool at Sharey Tefilo and even joining the public library are all things that have helped me to find my roots in this community.  I've made wonderful new friends and am looking forward to a post-holiday regifting potluck next weekend - there'll be lots of new people to meet there, and I can't wait to pawn off this really silly electronic gadget that we got from a cheap uncle who seems to think I am a teeage boy (I am sure one of the dads will love it).  So now I enjoy the Turtleback Zoo in West Orange and get my noodle soup at Cafe 88 in Livingston.  I get my culture from the Newark Museum and Montclair Art Museum, and music or theatre I want, I get from the South Orange Performing Arts Center or the Papermill Playhouse in Millburn.  I can't wait for my son to play Little League, and moms night out at Diva Lounge in Montclair in February is on my calendar...woo hoo, bring on the multi-coloured girly drinks!  Oh, and Central Park?  Who needs Central Park when I can swing from a hammock under the giant, ancient maple trees in my backyard?  My husband was right...I just had to give it a chance...

PS - we got rid of the studio.